Skip to main content

A Single Moment

I live for the moments in time where there is nothing in particular to worry about.  Since I was eight I have been a chronic worrier and I regularly used to be told off at school for pulling the face of anxiety. 

So when I suddenly realise that I'm not worrying about anything it is a bit of a sun-breaking-through-the-clouds event.  I last had that moment on our mini honeymoon to Florence in October.  We'd just conquered the Duomo and were sitting on a bench opposite it looking back up at where we'd been.  The man had to take his shoes off because his feet were so hot from the 460 stairs we'd just climbed and a local walked past chuckling away in Italian.  He just kept pointing at the shoes and us and the sky and generally having a very good laugh at us stupid tourists.

Sitting there, leaning on the man I had nothing at all to worry about.

I'm pretty sure the moment evaporated 5 minutes later as we tried to buy ice cream from a lady who saw us coming but for a few minutes the worry was all gone and forgotten about.


- Photo by Brian Duffy for Italian Vogue, Florence 1964
  

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Happy Friday

This week has been hard. It seems to have just been one long downward spiral which should've meant I woke up this morning feeling beyond hope.  Especially after the 4am nightmare where I drowned and then woke up in a hot sweat. But I woke up a lot more cheerful than I have been all week.  It's freezing cold and the 2 mile walk to the office from Charing Cross was painful but I got in and have found myself smiling all day.  Smiling when a client meeting was cancelled even though I got here early to do a lot of printing for it.  Still smiling after I can't book any rooms for a few more meetings I've scheduled for my boss this afternoon.  And I'll hopefully still be smiling at 17:28 when something urgent happens as it has a habit of doing last thing on a Friday. This weekend I will be trying hard not to stress out about how many words I've written (0) or how many weeks I have left until the film from hell is to be pitched again (38) or when it has to be compl...
Post a Comment
Read more

Disconnect

There is a feeling of being lost which has been creeping up on me more and more over the past few weeks. It makes me feel as though I am a different person to the one I was a month ago. Different thoughts, different priorities. Even so far as saying different voice, different body, different face I see in the mirror. I do not feel like I am me and the more I try to reach myself or sift back over old conversations and emotions to find myself the less graspable 'I' am. I can hear my voice talking at people. Sense me ears listening and my brain nodding along happily inside my skull. But there is a disconnect. And in that gap I do not like the situation. I don't feel comfortable and I don't know how to get up and be even remotely okay about where I might end up. It may simply be a bad Monday or a bad week about to start. When the disconnected fog descends, as it certainly will again and again and tomorrow and the next day again and again, I will try to be ready to ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Beat Sheets

Yesterday I sat at my Grandma's kitchen table for five hours.  Out of those that time, one hour was spent staring out of her back door at squirrels and wood pigeons in the garden.  Another thirty minutes was spent with the neighbour's cat, Teddy, who decided to investigate the kitchen and my legs and the very warm boiler I was working next to. In the remaining three and a half hours I managed to write about seven pages which translates to roughly seven minutes on screen. That takes me to seventeen pages total and I have to hand in one hundred and ten pages by June.  I ideally want to have completed a first draft by March (yeah right) and then I'd have a few months to edit and wrestle with it. At the moment I'm preoccupied with several beats I need to try and hit or at least aim for in terms of Act I, Act II, Mid point, Act III, climax and a resolution (or not if I want to puzzle an audience). I've got my story laid out and I'm happy with the structure but ...
Post a Comment
Read more