Promises to the film

I still haven't made a start on the new version of the film I have to hand in at the end of June. Right now I just feel sick when I think about it and in my head I jump from scene to scene in a random order as if I'll never pin it all down correctly.

The odd truth is that as soon as I start it I know it will become clear and I'll stop worrying quite as much. I've freewritten around the key moments and can see it in my mind but need to commit to 'Final Draft' and just start writing the script. No more notes or outlines. The new story has been planned to death and before I lose the thread I should just type it.

I think I might need to bribe myself. If I manage to complete the first 20 pages by the end of Sunday then I can have sushi for dinner one night next week.

Isn't it ridiculous that in order to make yourself do the thing you love you have to trick yourself into actually doing it?

Comments

Moving Goalposts

Some days you can feel as though you're on top of everything and it all makes completes sense. The goalposts to a job being completed are clearly signposted and you can tick them off as you progress. Other days you can feel as though you're sinking and no matter how many goals you tick off a few more appear on the horizon and nobody warned you they'd be there. I set myself goals and these are added to what everyone else has decided I need to do. So they multiply and the list gets longer and falls off one page onto two and suddenly you're staring at a tunnel of objectives and no light to shine on them for clarity. It's deeply frustrating and I'm the sort of person who needs set targets to reach. If you change the targets it's like you've personally attacked me and ruined my day for fun. I know that's not what actually happens but it definitely feels personal sometimes. I have 2 new pieces of work to hand in on Monday that weren't menti

Slackness

I've been so slack. Slacker than a pair of middle aged pants around the ankles of a slack jawed tight rope walker. I've been writing a few pages here and there and thinking many writery thoughts in my head. But it feels as though I haven't been doing enough and this is my eternal problem. So here I am writing something tangible and bankable and making you read it because it will make me feel as though I've actually done something with my day. As opposed to all the stuff I really have done with my day which is very impressive actually I'll have you know. It's just not in the general theme of writing or anything I might enjoy doing. And in other news it's been a stunning day in London town. Almost makes me happy to be here. Almost.

Crystal Clear Views

It's frustrating when all you can see are the problems in a situation. No matter how hard you try, the short term worries and panic end up clouding the view... (Photo by me, 2009) But if you risk a few crows feet and squint the bigger picture can appear. A more positive longer term. You breathe deeply, reassure yourself that eventually the problem will make sense and hunker down to make it all work out okay. (Photo by me, 2009)

Always Freewriting

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