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Monday Mood

I had a bit of a moment this morning where everything started to make sense and I almost smiled.

The day started in a gloomy fashion at 06:00 and I knew I was in a mood because yesterday I felt odd and out of sorts all day. I made the man a cup of tea, made his lunch (I'm so domesticated) and fed the cat. I got dressed in the dark, caught the train in the dark and was almost at London Bridge by the time the World started to illuminate itself. I found a colleague on the train and we caught a bus together for what is normally my 20 minute walk and got into the office at 08:59 which in my book made me early.

My Inbox has been full of pretty dull emails all day and at lunch time I went to Boots to buy some hair dye.  Seriously my life does not get more thrilling than this.

But I took 20 minutes out from the intense excitement and logged into an amazing freewriting website (750words.com) that I found last week. During my race to get to 750 words and fulfill my daily quote of typed words I started typing the truth. A strange thing about freewriting is that you spend days and days typing very self-conscious thoughts about how bad your writing is and what you're doing today. It's all very front of the brain stuff.

But after a few days something clicks and you start typing stories that have been shelved in a grey box in your grey brain for a lot of grey months. And finding endings for witty put downs you wanted to shout at someone years before. Or memories well up from hidden depths and suddenly you're writing stuff that you wouldn't mind other people reading. 

That happened this morning. I've been so preoccupied with the film-that-won't-work and the new-story-that-I-don't-completely-trust-yet that I'm starting to flounder and flail and ever so slightly give up. But a sentence came out today that I trusted and gave me a glimpse of what I can make the film about and a little smile almost passed my lips.

Almost.

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