Skip to main content

The Daily Commute

It took me 3 hours to get into work this morning.  It normally takes me an hour – about as long as it takes for me to wake up and accept the fact that I’m on the train going to That Place again. 

Are you sitting comfortably?  I wasn’t…
  • 07:30 Sat down
  • 07:50 Looked up from Metro and we hadn’t moved yet - Something was wrong
  • 08:00 Tuned into train announcements and listened to flustered Mr Driver blathering about a fire in London, red lights, dawn of the Apocolypse, his wife has left him, blah blah freaking blah
  • 08:05 Train lurched towards London
  • 08:05:36 Train ground to screeching halt in tunnel
  • 08:06 Common people around me started to get irritated
  • 08:20 Arrived at Tonbridge and chuckled at the lame Nemi cartoon on Page 30 something of the paper
  • 08:50 iPod jammed - Suddenly listening to gentle babbling stream of verbal worry that is Mr Driver giving us blow by blow account of his professional breakdown
  •  09:10 Realised I’m not on normal line - we’re being diverted - trees aren’t quite as green, graffitti on buildings is more skilful and angrier, lots of crows sitting on lamposts – I’m not in Kent anymore
  • 09:30 Risk sanity & take earphones out to find out where I’m headed.  Mr Driver sobbing over tannoy about Victoria being final destination – Does he mean for him or us?  Crossed my mind to use the emergency ‘speak to driver’ cord and scream at him to buck the hell up
  • 09:31 Glanced round carriage to find the cord but cant see beyond end of my seat for the sea of zombies crushed up against each other shuffling, muttering, dribbling, hating life generally
  • 09:32 Gave up on idea
  • 09:40 Zombie Idiot lost it’s mind - reached over above my head, gripped window with rotting hands & opened it right up
  • 09:41 Shivered to core of my soul as icy suburban wind raced up & down my jumper.  Swallowed any anger I may have had and decided not to speak out as Zombie Idiot won’t hear me anyway.  Zombie Idiot doesnt even know anyone else exists within it’s space
  • 09:41:30 Other zombies started talking.  Incoherrent bubbles of speech.  Speech got louder and one of them forgot his place in the carriage of hell and actually attempted communication with Zombie Idiot
  • 09:41:45 Window pushed shut by brave zombie
  • 09:42 Window opened by Zombie Idiot
  • 09:43 ZOMBIE WAR
  • 09:44 Window shoved shut, warmth from radiotor crept back into my jumper and the muttering zombies resumed their low harmonics after the outburst of rage.  Zombie Idiot’s limbs lie scattered around the carriage already forgotten about.  Good.
  • 10:00 Battersea Power station loomed on my right and I tried to count the broken windows.
  • 10:15 Sat outside Victoria station and decided that THIS IS NOT THE FUTURE.  It is not my future.  I never want to be on a train full of zombies again
  • 10:25 Mr Driver announced we were at Victoria and that he wished us all a good onward journey – I’d like to know if he shot himself there and then or decided to carry on with his life in the hope that it can only get better?
  • 10:30 Entered through the glass doors of my employers and another day started
In 45 minutes I have to go and catch my train home.  I can’t wait.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Tuesday Mornings

The fog had crept across the garden all morning, soaking into the space between tired daisy heads and trampled grass. It had stealthily stroked everything it passed and left a cold trace of moisture clinging to the underside of oak leaves, pampas grass and rhododendron blooms. Up in the sky the sun was battling to break through the thick cloud cover and every tentative shaft of light was being batted away by this endless trail of fog.   Two red wellie boots jump from an open doorway into this scene. Determined thuds on the back door step and with a second’s pause to contemplate which direction to run in they are off, racing into the gloom adding a jolt of colour and noise.   A second pair of boots join them, more slowly this time and in a gentler colour way of navy blue. The door is closed behind these boots and a voice calls out to slow the red boots down. A warning not to fall in the puddles, be careful of the tree roots, don’t go further than the stile at the en...
Post a Comment
Read more

Starting Fresh

It's been a while. And I definitely feel rusty. But hopefully it won't take long for my brain to catch up with my fingers and type something more interesting than the weekly shopping list for Ocado. Or Lidl depending on how much money is in the bank that week. With two little boys running round calling me mummy (artistic license at work here ~ my youngest is 7 months and not running or calling me anything) life has certainly changed from when I last wrote. But after 5 years of almost constant change I suddenly find myself back sitting in the same spot at work where I always used to sit doing the same tasks I always did just as though the last few years never actually happened. Except they definitely did. I have the scars to prove it and also as soon as I get home I don't throw myself on the sofa and exclaim dramatically that I'm so glad the week is over and isn't it wonderful to have nothing to do. I run upstairs to give lots of hugs and cuddles ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Big Days

I'm in the middle of planning my best friend's Hen night and it's got me thinking about how many days of my life I can actually remember.  Odd I know.  I don't remember the majority of the hen that she threw for me as I rather predictably drank too much and was very ill by the end of it.  But until the drink flowed we had the best day ever running round Brighton in teams on a scavenger hunt, eating fish and chips by the seafront and generally catching up with my best friends in the whole World (apart from 1 who had to be in San Fran for silly work but I did think about her while I was dashing down side streets laughing all the way).  I also don't remember most of my actual Wedding day.  Snippets of emotions, the man looking at me as we exchanged vows and shock at the whole thing actually happening.  Before the day took off, my most amazing Bridesmaid had to stitch ribbon onto velcro that had arrived with the flowers,...
Post a Comment
Read more