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Disconnect

There is a feeling of being lost which has been creeping up on me more and more over the past few weeks. It makes me feel as though I am a different person to the one I was a month ago. Different thoughts, different priorities. Even so far as saying different voice, different body, different face I see in the mirror. I do not feel like I am me and the more I try to reach myself or sift back over old conversations and emotions to find myself the less graspable 'I' am.


I can hear my voice talking at people. Sense me ears listening and my brain nodding along happily inside my skull. But there is a disconnect. And in that gap I do not like the situation. I don't feel comfortable and I don't know how to get up and be even remotely okay about where I might end up.


It may simply be a bad Monday or a bad week about to start.


When the disconnected fog descends, as it certainly will again and again and tomorrow and the next day again and again, I will try to be ready to shrug it off and be better in my skin and remember two little boys waiting for me at home. They are worth my energy and what it has to be all about. I must not forget that.

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